The trip to San Xavier today made me revisit a common line of thought for me, which is how I process religion around me. I am personally agnostic, as I grew up in a non-religious household, but in Roanoke, Virginia so Christianity was assumed. I have had many awkward conversations around my religious beliefs, as instead of taking the path of least resistance in faking non-practicing Christianity I have always been honest when asked. Whether I want it to or not this has always impacted the way I process religion, as it is hard for me to have a full appreciation for religious sites without the belief. When I walked into the San Xavier church today, I felt awkward as I always do when I walk into a church, as I want to show deference to those who are having a spiritual experience, but this makes me feel very phony. The church itself was beautiful and I could feel some sort of aura from those devoutly practicing around me. At the same time, however, I felt like I was walking on eggshells, as I was merely a tourist in a building that did not feel like it should be open to outsiders. I wonder how the people who are there for the religious experience feel as tourists routinely go in and out, with what I am assuming are different levels of respect. I myself committed what I felt was a faux pas, as after sitting for a while and absorbing the scenery, I got up to look at the front area of the church. I looked around the corner to the right and there were people bent over in prayer. When I looked back at the seats, I saw people waving me to sit down, with disapproval in their eyes. At that moment, I felt the same as I always do in religious contexts; awkward, with a clear self-consciousness of sticking out like a sore thumb.